Ruminations of the mind

Yes, I know some of you will be shocked, but I OFTEN ruminate!

It’s been a while since I’ve written here. There are myriad reasons for this, which I won’t elaborate on now, as they aren’t relevant to today’s post. But my silence of sorts is not indicative of lack of thought on my part – in fact, I often “write” posts in my mind and then am too busy to put them here. So, today I thought I’d try to recreate some of that.

First Rumination (a theme here) – Inconsideration for Others

Okay, most will admit there seems to be more people in the world that spend less time noticing other people around them. Maybe it’s that I am getting old, but seriously, is it hard to leave the door open behind you if someone is entering a door right after you? Does it kill you to stop rolling when a pedestrian is crossing the street in the crosswalk? How hard is it to acknowledge that some people might be having a hard day and a smile from you might make even a small difference?

But being considerate takes many forms, and I fully acknowledge I lack consideration for others at times, too. I was at a concert the other night and witnessed something that made me a little sad. It wasn’t a big deal at all, yet I felt sorry for a girl. You see, two ladies walked by us (including the “girl” I mentioned) who were meeting a group that had already been at the concert for some time. One of the girls obviously knew everyone (I will refer to her as Girl #1), and “the girl” obviously did not (I will call Girl #2). Girl #1 excitedly joined the group, totally leaving Girl #2 alone on the fringe. Never once did Girl #1 even THINK about her friend; never introduced her, never included her in the larger group, never even looked back at her. Girl #2 tried once or twice to “break into” the group, introduced herself to one person on the fringe, but was obviously feeling awkward and left out. I almost offered to buy her a drink, it was so bad!

Why am I mentioning this? Well, for me, it made me realize how self-centered we as a whole have become. NO ONE in the larger group seemed to have noticed ANY of this going on, especially Girl #1 who was her friend! And then I wondered – if I were in the same situation, would I do the same thing to my friend? I am sad to say I hope I wouldn’t, but I am not sure. I guess I am saying, we could all work a little harder thinking about others more and less about ourselves.

Second Rumination – Keeping up with the Jones’

I have been mega guilty of this in my lifetime – buying things I didn’t need to keep up with my friends, having the big house and the fancy cars, etc. Life circumstances, especially this economy, have humbled my attitude if in no other way then taking away my ability to act this way. So I am starting off by saying I am more than guilty of this area…..probably more guilty than most I know.

But now that the economy has gone south for many people, and now that I can’t even PRETEND to keep up with the Jones’, seeing “the game” played seems so much more offensive! Some use Facebook as well as their lives to promote their indulgences while others are struggling to keep their houses, feed their kids, etc. I have an acquaintance who modified their home loan after not paying if for three months on purpose (they COULD make the payments, but knew they could get their loan modified in this market), the wife went on disability because she “could not even sit”, and they have taken three major vacations this summer (Hawaii, Mexico, and back to Hawaii). They refinished their swimming pool after the loan modification. Oh, and the person on disability is having no problem partaking in very physical activities such as jet skiing, etc. This family has friends that are losing their houses, have lost their jobs and are barely making it by on unemployment.

I am NOT suggesting that people should stop taking vacations, should not enjoy life, or anything like that. But it seems especially hard to swallow blatant “booyas” to others, especially when they are so very vocal about the way they are working the system to finance their activities! Even if they WEREN’T working the system, in this economy I would hope that more people would at least be sensitive to the struggles others are facing when broadcasting their third international vacation or whatever. And, with all sincerity, I hope my acquaintances don’t hit the bottom like so many others have…….

Third Rumination – Politically Sanctioned Hatred

I am a registered Republican, although I at times agree with and vote for Democratic initiatives. I research all areas and don’t vote “only Republican”. I know that some people vote down party lines exclusively and get fighting mad at the mere MENTION of the opposing party. This has been a theme for many of my friends on Facebook as well. Politics are a very personal and emotional area of our lives and far be it from me to tell anyone how to think. That is what is so so wonderful about this country; we have a right to think for ourselves and vote and not be persecuted for it.

However, the last part is my true area of rumination – how come there is so much hatred regarding politics? I mean seriously, it’s one thing to say “I don’t really like Obama – I really feel his plan is to make this country socialist and that makes me ANGRY!” It’s another to say, “Obama is a communist, not even an American Citizen, and illegally gave government money in the bail out.” Let me just say here, the bail out started with Bush and hello, do a little research……the House and Senate were involved people!

ANYWAY, I have to laugh a little at my Republican friends on Facebook (and remember, I am a Republican too). They post over and over all these hate-filled articles against Obama, but NOTHING about U.S. Senator John Ensign resigning for having an affair. Nothing about Mark Sanford and his fiasco. More importantly, they are ignoring the recent revelations that Bush and Cheney appear to have broken law with illegal activities under the guise of fighting terrorism. My view is, POLITICIANS ARE, IN GENERAL, GONNA BREAK THE RULES. IT IS NOT A REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT PROBLEM. However, when I mention that to many of my Republican friends, they pretty much attack me to the point that, if their words were rocks, I would be dead right now!

So, yes USE your right to vote. Use your free speech to criticize actions you find reprehensible. But please, all I ask, is to also use your brain a little with the issues AND do not be mean to those that do not agree with you. It is NOT fair to say that Republicans are Christian and Democrats are not (and yes, I have been told that and chastised for voting along Democratic lines…..as that is “voting for Satan”). And I don’t believe it’s EVER fair or productive to spew hatred when you’re trying to make your point.

And for the Christian readers out there, who profess to have a Biblical world view, I add this: Ephesians 6:5-8, which says, ” Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.” In Gina’s words – you might hate that Obama is President, but you need to honor him as your President……..and I would say the same thing if it were McCain!

Final Rumination – Christians “In the World”

I fully acknowledge that the whole Michael Jackson media frenzy was, at times, too much! But a friend recently got into a huge debate regarding his memorial. My friend (Friend #1) was heavily chastised by Friend #2, who happens to be a very conservative Christian. Friend #2 said “nothing about the memorial or Michael Jackson’s life can be contributed to God and no Christian should have anything to do with Michael Jackson, his music, his memorial, or any secular music at all.”

Friend #1 argued that the name of Jesus was proclaimed several times throughout the memorial – even HONORING Him – exposing Christ to MILLIONS (if not billions) throughout the world who watched the memorial. Friend #1 further suggested that Friend #2’s stance was pharisaical in nature, as to be truly effective in spreading the Word of God, you need to sometimes “touch the Samaritan”. Scripture was provided to point out how Jesus criticized the Pharisees and their legalistic view of others and their high opinion of their own godliness. Friend #2 retorted “The Pharisees were not Christian.” Well, so much for seeing that BEHAVIORS are what is wrong and that, perhaps, behaviors by today’s Christians can be very pharisaical……

I am NOT suggesting that everyone be FORCED to listen to secular music, but I WILL argue that Christian can and do listen to secular music and that has no bearing on their salvation or their walk. And I will NOT EVER limit the power of God, who uses those who profess Him as their savior and those who do not. I also assert that no one can really know if someone is a Christian or even that sin in our lives (and let’s face it, we all sin Christian or not) automatically ends our usefulness to God, OR that it limits the Power of God to work……I mean, all those years Ted Haggart was having an affair, people were accepting Christ in his church! So please – stop the hatred and what not!

So, I am now tired from all this ruminating! Gina OUT!

Thursday Ramblings…..

So today I walked into the office to hear a sermon broadcasting from Charles’ computer.  Yes, Charles is a Christian and I have to admit, he’s really on fire.  He has a great heart and yearns to know more of God, and at times I feel as though God placed Charles here to bless me. 

However, the sermon being played kind of pissed me off.  (Yes, I can say that all in one sentence!)  First of all, I have to be candid in that I have NEVER liked preachers who scream at the top of their lungs.  Never.  So I already was biased against him just by hearing his yelling voice.  But moreso was his message – you really can’t know you are truly saved unless you prove it with things such as going to church, avoiding worldly things of all kinds, etc.  He went onto say that you “better be scared” because you could lose your salvation at any moment if you don’t watch out. 

I must add that, usually when Charles has these sort of preachers on, I just pray that the Holy Spirit reveal himself to both of us and that there might be a balance to His love and also to our role as ambassadors for Him to the world.  However, LOSE YOUR SALVATION?????  I cannot STAND this sort of crap!  How can I have more power than Jesus Christ Himself when I had nothing to do with my salvation in the first place????

So, just hold up a second, please.  I am NOT saying we as Christians should be willy nilly and do anything because we have this “sure fire” thing called salvation.  When we accept Christ, we ARE changed and the Holy Spirit indwells us and makes us a new creation.  And we SHOULD be new, should seek to be more like Jesus everyday, and become sactified by the Holy Spirit.  But, let’s face it, we still suck apart from Christ and we are so gonna fail in many, many ways.  I tried to articulate these thoughts to Charles, but he told me that we are slaves to Christ and therefore should not sin.  I said it was impossible.  He said I might need to get right with God (not directly and not mean spirited……)

So I instead wrote this email:

I agree with the CONCEPTS of the pastor speaking today, but I think there is too much emphasis on the outward.  The Pharisees in Jesus’ days knew the law, did many of the outward things required by the law (and like us, tons of things we as humans have added to the law), yet Jesus was clear that their arrogance and sick hearts were wrong and kept them from knowing God. 

 

For example, his words “you are known by your fruit” and should not “be of the world”.  I have heard some claim that if I, as a woman, wear pants, I am of the world and beyond salvation.  I have heard that if I drink beer, I am of the world and cannot be a Christian.  (keep in mind, the Bible says “be ye not DRUNK”).  I have heard that, if I listen to secular music, I am not saved.  All of these are outward signs and have nothing to do with the heart or even Jesus Christ.  However, many Christians who go to church and tithe and cut their hair a certain way (aka, “like the Pharisees), treat a homeless person like crap and turn their backs on “sinners” in the world and justify those actions by saying “we are not of the world”.  But when the scriptures tell us to follow the law – which I am not even saying we shouldn’t – I believe Jesus set the heirchy for this following.  Matt 22:34-40 NIV (emphasis mine) says:

The Greatest Commandment

 ³⁴Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. ³⁵One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:

 ³⁶“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” ³⁷Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[b] 38}This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^{[c] 40}All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

So, the way I see it, if we do not love our God and our neighbors, no other adherence to the law matters, as everything hangs on these two things.  And who is our neighbor?  They are the ones that society tells us to hate (Samaritans), they and the sinners (aka the adulterer who was not stoned), they are the world.  And, by Jesus’ own actions (as he did everything the Pharisees thought was “of the world”), we need to love and reach out to all people no matter what their circumstances and LOVE THEM EVEN IF THEY DO NOT ACCEPT HIM!

 

And again, focusing too much on the outward “fruits” (that really can be defined in world ways, don’t you think?  Going to church, looking a certain way, speaking a certain way – cliques do that too!) is dangerous.  Jesus himself shared in Luke 18:9-14:

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector

 ⁹To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: ¹⁰“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. ¹¹The Pharisee stood up and prayed about^[a] himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. ¹²I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

 ¹³“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

 ¹⁴“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

So, I am NOT saying we should not put on the garments God provided through His Son at the point of our salvation – I am not saying there should not be a change in us when we accept Him as Savior.  But I also do not want to take other scriptures that promote fear or make me feel as though I need to put on the garments of man to “prove” my salvation.  I rely on the Holy Spirit on a daily basis to fight the flesh that is still present in my life (just as Paul shared in Corinthians).  I hope and TRUST that I am being sanctified each day by the Holy Spirit and that HIS LOVE is manifested in me and that I truly follow His greatest commandments – to love Him and love others – before I get all arrogant to measure my other fruits in a greater way.  And I am will based my faith in the Bible that says I am saved because I accepted Jesus Christ, and I will not worry about “losing” my salvation or question that salvation because I may not adhere to one or another “rule”.  No matter how great I am with the “clothes” or outward signs, I am really and truly like that tax collector – I so suck and I am 100% a sinner and really, I do not deserve a damn thing.  And even if I get some sense of “godliness” with my “walk” or my “talk” or my church attendance or anything else that I can do to separate myself from the world, I still suck except for the blood of Jesus that has given me something I do not deserve.

 

So THAT is what I was trying to say.  And there is no scripture that says what we need to “listen to” specifically…….because just as I sent this email, the preacher dude said if you listen to secular music, you just might not be saved……and used the scripture “you called ‘Lord Lord’ but I did not know you” as proof…….sigh.

 

And maybe the next conversation we can have is – can a secular job be your ministry?  J

I am posting this mostly because I would love to hear your thoughts about this.  Am I wrong?  Should we focus more on things like music, clothes, church attendance, and less on loving others or maybe working on our hearts? 

And on a side note, I have words of advice for business owners.  If you do not pay withholding taxes to the IRS and State you’re located in, they can and WILL take all of your money out of your bank accounts and will not care if you just sent our payroll checks or your opinion that “you can’t stop our operations like that”.

Crazy…..

Okay, I am at work (YES!, I add, I AM working on my day off!  Gasp!) and waiting for some info from our new San Diego restuarant and thought I’d post a blog.  My boredom is your reward! 

So, a friend is having this online “debate” of sorts with someone who used to be their teacher or youth pastor or something.  The essence of his stance is that Christians cannot drink, dance, or sin – well because that would test the whole grace theory and is wrong.  And I WILL agree that we, as Christians (well, for those of my readers who ARE Christians….) should not TRY to sin just because we know we will be forgiven (or, more theologically correct would be “we know we are already forgiven”).  We should not say “well, I probably know this is wrong, but I am gonna do it anyway because I was promised salvation.”  But to say we STOPPED SINNING when we became Christians is a crock of you-know-what.

However, the context of the argument was raised because some “self professed Christians” had shared publicly that they could do things like drink beer, go to clubs to dance, and still be very spirit filled.  The pastor disagreed, saying – to paraphrase – “people who don’t even go to church have no business talking about God”.

Now, I am just a human, and as such am very flawed.  And I was not directly involved with this debate, and may now be focusing on one small point he was making and may even be taking it out of context.  But I CAN say, I have been involved with enough Christians who have held the view that, if you are a Christian, you are 1) without sin or stop sinning all together (at least, you must to REALLY be a Christian) and 2) have to spend all extra time in church or you are taking the chance of losing your salvation.

Case in point – when my friend wrote back quoting the Bible/Paul where he said he struggled everyday with sin, the pastor wrote back and said, “well, that was before he was a STRONG Christian!”  His response has NO reference in the Bible at all, but rather the dogma of his faith! And another former pastor chimed in with more verses by Paul that indicated it was an ongoing struggle….

Why am I sharing all of this now?  Well, I am personally tired of “the righteous” taking their seats of judgment and acting like they have somehow found “the way” to perfection.  Like going to church 4 days a week or women only wearing dresses or never watching movies.  I argue that some of the very people in these sort of congregations are the most unhealthy spiritual people on earth!  I mean seriously, I went to a very “righteous” church last year and someone hit my car in the parking lot and dented it badly…….and didn’t leave a note!  On one hand, I thought “well, we are all sinners, what can I expect?” but on the other I thought, “I just sat thru a sermon saying how this group of people were above the rest of the world because they followed very precise rules.”  Yet I have been hit by non-Christians who have left notes on my cars.  Hmmmmm.  Morality is not exclusively a Christian thing perhaps.

And what about the Sunday School Teacher that is accused of murdering that 9-year-old girl in Tracy, CA?  If “going to church” and “not drinking beer” means you are “righteous”, what happened here?  Or, can it be said that every beer-drinking person is horrible?  I think not.

Now, admittedly, I am judging so am no better than anyone I am ranting against.  And, as the “salt of the earth” Christian DO have standards and a challenge to be different from the world.  But, as such, I contend that more damage is done when the “zealots” of the world scream on their corners like some crazy Pharisee – not out of love, but out of pride.  Pride?  Yes, in that moment I believe this person felt we was above my friend and anyone other BROTHER OR SISTER IN CHRIST because they were “more righteous” based on OUTWARD ITEMS (going to church, abstaining from beer, etc.)  When the BIBLE tells us the heart is what is true, and what God sees.  Finally, I will say this again – I am saved thanks to no part of ME…..I am not worthy of salvation.  I suck.  But for the blood of Christ, I would be toast.  And He saved me and I am now His child.  ONLY CHRIST HAS A RIGHT TO FEEL RIGHTEOUS, AND I AM ONLY RIGHTEOUS BECAUSE OF HIS BLOOD, NOT ANYTHING I CAN “DO”.  And I argue that, if that is the case, what now can I do to cause my salvation to end?  Because, if I truly have the power to do that, I am more powerful than Christ Himself!

But I am rambling.  and I am not a theologian.  And I don’t know, I kind of wish more Christians would leave room for the Holy Spirit to do His job and stop acting like God…….or maybe rebuke out of LOVE instead of pride…….

Gina OUT

Sunday Thoughts….I know SHOCKING

So, blame this shocking event on John Shore, who wrote this blog post. On the surface, I was interested but the comments afterward got me thinking…….and combined with my own experience, I can say that the word “tolerance” has been a four letter word in most of my Christian circles.  I have been taught by more than one Christian leader that tolerance equates to acceptance, which waters down my own faith in Christ.  For example, if I tolerated someone who holds the Jewish faith, I would validate their view of denying Christ.  Instead, I have been taught (by a few leaders) that to “prove” my faith, I need to at least attempt to share how their Jewish faith was wrong and leading them to death……in other words, NO TOLERANCE.

Now don’t get me wrong…….I hold a strong belief in Jesus Christ.  I believe the Bible.  But, I also think that there are many roads to evangelizing.  And I would like to point out that TOLERANCE can – and in my opinion, DOES – mean something else all together.

For me, tolerance is allowing others to believe what they want.  Tolerance is loving them (aka, your neighbor) even if they don’t deserve it.  I believe it means treating them the same as the Christian to your left.  And, once you maybe connect with them as a human being (aka, God’s creation) and perhaps SHOW them how powerful God is through your actions……like maybe “doing what Jesus would do” and all that.  THEN, perhaps, they might even CONSIDER discussing religion with you.  Because, let’s face it, if a non-Christian immediately went into a speech about how our faith was so wrong…..we would probably not be that receptive.

Or, I could be wrong.  Maybe we should be more like this post…..after all, all Muslims are terrorists or something……not sure what exactly he is trying to say…..but here is my paraphrase: “I have my own dictionary, I can say what words really mean, and it’s okay for us to hate others and that doesn’t mean we are like those Taliban scum with their hatred of Christians, and btw they are going to kill you.  And you should homeschool your kids.”

But really, and I am being sincere here – I am not being very tolerant of him now, am I?  And that is the point.  He – and everyone – have a RIGHT to think what they will.  And I need to love him even if I think he’s irrational.  I need to TOLERATE that I totally don’t agree with him, that his views are irrational, and let him live his life.  In doing so, I have NOT diminished my own beliefs, nor have I given credence to his.  Just like if I remained friends with my Jewish acquaintance and even asked about their life or discussed their theology, it wouldn’t negate my faith in Christ.  And, while I HOPE to have a deep conversation about my own relationship with Christ, it’s really the Holy Spirit that will change a person’s heart anyway.  You know?

And, really, what WOULD Jesus do?  While I do not speak for Him, I do have His Word to reference.  Actually, I am stealing this from a commenter on John’s blog:

“To say that Jesus condemned people who don’t believe in him sounds, to me, pretty presumptuous.

His recorded words in John (“no way to the Father except through me…”) seem simple enough when seen through the hermeneutical lens most Protestants have been taught since birth, but there are plenty of other ways to interpret that particular text.

And outside of John, the other gospels show the vast majority of Jesus’ examples with religious outsiders (tax collectors, hookers, Roman soldiers, adulterers, etc…) to end with love and grace, often with no strings attached.

We do see some of this in the book of John as well (the woman about to be stoned) — in this case Jesus specifically tells a convicted sinner “I do not condemn you” and sends her off, even though she never even asked for forgiveness!

Most of Jesus’ condemnation in the gospels is reserved for the religious folks who think they have it all figured out.”

Now, maybe things are too complicated to really come to a specific conclusion about everything, including the whole idea of tolerance.  But I can know without a doubt that loving my neighbor – with no condition regarding their faith – is a direct quote from Christ.  “Love your neighbor as yourself” NOT “Love your neighbor if they are a Christian, and don’t irritate you or otherwise mess up the world.”

And with that, no more thinking!

A Beautiful Friday Morning!

BEFORE THIS POST CAN TRULY BE APPRECIATED, CHECK OUT THE TWO POSTS I PUT UP LAST NIGHT – THE ONE EXPLAINING MY “SONG DAYS” AS WELL AS MY “FRIDAY LOVE SONG” POST!  DO IT!!!!

Okay, I must confess that I woke up feeling pretty good – after all, it’s freaking FRIDAY and – to add to the pleasure – I GET PAID TODAY!  Whoot whoot!  So, that sort of set me in a better mood than I usually am when I first wake.

But today is BEAUTIFUL.  I mean, I was actually ENJOYING my time out with Gracie this morning……blue skies, the grass is this luscious green, the birds were really chirping……..I mean you missed it!  Here was a lady with crazy curly hair, her grey pj pants, her Alaska sweatshirt, coffee cup in hand, paper towel hanging out of her pocket (that’s for my “clean up after Gracie” time), singing!  Yeah, if you ever want to see this show live, drive down Fairview between 7 and 7:15……..free admission……

(BUT, just so you know, my impertinent dog was also enthralled with the morning…..or perhaps my singing…….so enthralled, she couldn’t bring herself to poop……..sigh…….but I am STILL HAPPY!)

ANYWAY, a friend posted about the beauty of birds chirping – called Why Do Birds Sing?…..you should check it out!  I honestly haven’t been to this blog for a while as he wasn’t keeping it up, but was pleasantly surprised to see tons of new posts.  I will read them Martin!  And I LOVED the posted on Justification – So What?! I have so many thoughts about it, but I will save that for later!

Sorry, this post is truly living up to the RAMBLING part of its name!

Okay, so jumping again, I read this amazing article in the LA Times yesterday.  I like the personal perception/experience of the writer, as well as the documentation of an amazing woman who saw “outside the box” at a time when race was a four later word.  And, well, technically it has a historical bend to it as well.  If you have time, you should check it out.

Okay, Gracie is making me a little nervous.  I better take her out again before I get ready for work.  Dog poop in the house is not good…….

GINA OUT!

Semi-Deep Thoughts for a Sunday

So, I have posted pretty blah stuff lately. As such, I am feeling a bit pressured internally to take it a bit deeper. Not sure I will succeed, but I will try!

First of all, I’d like to talk about anger. As a Christian, and specifically a Christian Woman, I have been tacitly taught that anger is not a Christian trait. Anger is sin. Anger is BAD. And admittedly, I have done some of the dumbest things in my life when I was angry! Reacting in anger is uncool, attacking in anger is bad, and well…..anger sucks. So this generally validated the tacit encouragements of the Christian culture around me.

However, I find it interesting that the Bible does not call out ANGER, but calls out BEHAVIORS of us when we are angry! Here is what I am talking about:

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV): “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Notice that Paul does not write “you best not get angry – anger is sin” but rather, “hey, I know you’re bound to get angry. Fine. But don’t sin when you are there.”

Even more powerful in this enlightenment I am experiencing is Ephesians 4:29, which reads “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” I can give you sob stories of how relatives tore me up when they were mad at me, or people who used to be close to me used their hurt and anger to justify ripping me apart. But more importantly, I have used “unwholesome talk” in my anger and pain to get some sort of “healing” or – more likely – revenge towards those that hurt me. And I am not even suggesting that the pain I went through was right, but two wrongs never make a right.

But the real kicker is at the end of this chapter in the Bible, verses 4:31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

I believe, again, that it is not WRONG to be angry (hurt, resentful, crying out in pain, and acknowledging that another person has hurt you, etc.) What is WRONG is what we do with it. I, for one, have exploded with anger and regret it today. I, for one, have held onto bitterness against those who have hurt me, only to hurt myself in the process. I, for one, have asked for and expected forgiveness for my shortcomings, while denying the same to those who have wronged against me. I even felt justified in ripping apart these people, but have found it didn’t diminish the pain and/or bitterness I held. And I realize now that it didn’t bring me anywhere close to forgiving them…..in fact, it heightened my anger. So, maybe what Paul is saying here is that, to “get rid of bitterness and anger”, you truly have to put on the garment of Christ…..forgive where it seems impossible to forgive. For, let’s face it, do YOU and I DESERVE Christ’s forgiveness? Nope, we do not. So, maybe the way of getting rid of the anger and replacing it with kindness and compassion is to forgive…..even if it doesn’t make sense. Even if there is not retribution involved. Even if it doesn’t seem fair.

I must admit, there are big parts of me that is fighting against this premise! I want fairness! I want revenge…..

But again, if I did something wrong (and, believe me, I have) I would be more bent on wanting to be forgiven then wanting what I deserve……

Anyway, not sure if this makes sense. I feel better now that I am not such a failure because I get angry. I will now focus on what I DO with that anger, which is where the problem arises.

BUT, before I go, I wanted to share a few pics:

This pic cracks me up. It was taken in the Du-par’s Women’s employee bathroom. My, how times have changed!

And this pic was taken yesterday and Zack’s baseball game. I don’t know what has happened to me…..I used to find these sort of rules important, but have loosened up a little I guess! (And, btw, I was told the sign didn’t apply on weekends!)

Okay, well even though it’s Sunday, I am off for work! We sold one of our locations and I need to cut the employee’s final checks! Have a great day!

Gina OUT!

Fake Friends

I am tired today so not sure how long I will be able to write in my normal profound way….LOL….I am so modest!

I friend was telling me about a sermon she heard about fake friends.  The bottom line of the sermon was that fake friends can and do cause more pain in your life than your enemies.  That is an interesting point and one in which I believe.  I guess I am sort of in a pity party mood, because it is easy and sad to know I have already made a long list of friends I realized during the past year fit the “fake friends” category……

So what do I mean by fake friends?  For me, I also add the title “Christian Fake Friends” to the description.  I guess the most painful aspect of this area for me is this – many of the friends who dropped me like a hot potato are very vocal about their Christian faith.  They talk about going to church, how they are involved in this or that ministry, or seem to promote their holiness.  Yet, as soon as they realized I am not perfect or don’t meet their definition of a Christian, they left without even a goodbye.  They now shun me like I am a leper or something.  And there are even some who still claim to be my friends today, yet treat me the same way.  That is worse than an enemy, who at least I KNOW hates me……

NOTE:  I have lost some other friends who at least told me WHY and I am not including them in this tyrade.  I have also maintained amazing friends who obviously have concern for aspects of my life, yet choose to show me the love of Christ despite these concerns.  I choose to model my own actions after these friends and pray that the pain and bitterness I am still experiencing from my fake friends be removed so I can truly feel like a follower of Christ.

All I am saying is this – I don’t want you in my life if you despise me!  But don’t act all righteous when you can’t even have the common courtesy to acknowledge you are fake and phony and judgmental.  When you think of me and realize how much better you are than me and thank God that you removed me from your life……I hope something makes you see yourself in the mirror and acknowledge that you are as stained as I am!  and I will work on not judging you……

Opinion: Tolerance not same thing as acceptance | society, free, right : YumaSun

Opinion: Tolerance not same thing as acceptance | society, free, right : YumaSun.

I really like the way this professor sums up the idea of tolerance…..something I think is lacking – especially in Christian firms located in Brea, CA.

Gina has her brain on again…..

…..and well, thinks she smells smoke!

When I was at the Museum of Tolerance (MOT), I was touched very deeply.  (To hear some thoughts already posted, check out this blog entry.)  When I was there, seeing the propoganda the Nazi party shoveled out, see the faces of so many tortured…..seeing the faces and hearing the stories of the millions who were murdered…….well, it made it easy to despise those who caused such carnage.   Hearing Hitler say, “I am doing the work of the Lord” DID tick me off pretty well, and directing the bulk of my anger towards him was quite easy.

So, the last few days I have lived with this anger, judgement, and actual hate for Hitler.  Thinking of him burning in hell day after day, being tormented as he so deserves.

But yesterday, a thought hit me (and also collided with a picture a friend sent….) – what if this whole time Hitler has been in heaven because he repented and accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior?  To be candid, my first reaction to such a thought was, “Please Lord, tell me You didn’t save HITLER!  He doesn’t deserve it!”

That was a painful place for me to be…….actually thinking someone didn’t deserve to be saved!  Let’s think about that…….I could go on and say “Well, I am not as bad as Hitler, so I deserve to be saved.”  Or maybe, “I would rather see Hitler in hell and learn that Christ’s blood is not strong enough than see him in heaven!”

Is that blasphemous?  Can I really call myself a Christian if 1) I don’t want to see EVERYONE saved, and 2) don’t fully acknowledge that the blood of Christ can and does cover ALL sins to those who love and accept Him?  (Now, I am not a theologian and have no desire to get into predestination/elections and so forth, so please don’t take me down that road!)

ANYWAY, as a Christian, do you thin we would REJOICE to see Hitler in heaven?  I mean, seriously, to see him there knowing that Christ totally did an amazing work would get me stoked.  (And as I am writing this, my body is STILL saying “I can’t, I really can’t want him there!”)  But what about me?  I did not participate in a horrible genocide of an entire culture, as well as include anyone that opposed me, but do I deserve to be saved?  I mean, I cuss like hell, I hate, I lose faith, I am a horrible rendition of what I was created to be…….except for that guy named Christ.  And I haven’t done anything remotely good enough to make myself deserve to be saved…….that’s that guy’s job too.

So, on that note, what does this picture do to you?

Okay, don’t get all political on me.  OF COURSE I am not suggesting that actions on this earth do not lead to consequences – hello!  But let’s think about this…….if Hitler repented and accepted Christ……..and what about Bin Laden?  What if he had a Damascus road moment?  What if that moment was seconds before his death – a death so many would probably celebrate – and then we run into him in heaven too?  Would that tick you off?  Does the mere image of Christ washing his feet send you over the edge?

It did me, and that has really gotten me thinking about this Christian thing!

John 3:16 (New International Version)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

More on this shortly………….Gina OUT

Gina is tearing up AGAIN!

Okay, first it was Christian the Lion.  Now, I have been blessed by the GMA interview with Steven Curtis Chapman’s family.  Check it out.